People that know me know that I have ‘issues’ with my moods, some people call it depression, I like to think of it as ‘temporary personality glitches’.
Sometimes I feel angry at close friends and my families presence, irritated by comforting words and patronised by affirmations of my achievements and positive things to come. I feel guilty for that.
Despite my minds best efforts of sabotage I can trick myself into thinking I want to go to yoga long enough to get into my yoga pants (admittedly not much persuasion needed for this) and into the car, I could probably slip gently out of the back door if my eyes persisted on the leaking business.
Today yoga reminded me of something. It seems even in my darkest hour I can inevitably find myself again in Chaturanga (could these studies be right?), never before have I had to be so conscious of myself as I have to be in yoga.
Working with a partner I was taught we need people even when we hate people, even when a breath at the wrong time makes you draw pause in annoyance. People pull us out of ourselves emotionally and into ourselves literally… in a yogic sense.
As my tension eased, I fell into the cushiony comfort of ujjayi breathing in unison with a dozen other people and felt the supportive grasp of another human stabilising my ankle I felt just that, stable, supported.
We need people.
People to teach us, form cultures, societies, give us ideas we would have never formed alone, you can learn so much from a stranger if you’re actually willing to look and understand a little.
It got me thinking… is this why we travel? Because other people keep us alert, interested, sane!?
Travel the world to see through someone else’s eyes. Take a yoga class and just soak in the passion of the people that go each week shaking in their Navasana but never giving up.
Go home and tell your spouse, that friend, your cat, dog, fish, you can’t live without them. ‘What a lonely life I’m trying to create’ I thought this evening.
Letting people help despite yourself is sometimes difficult, hey we can all be stubborn sometimes, but sometimes it’s exactly what we need.
Appreciating those who take the time to withstand your ‘personality glitches’ are the people you kind of want to keep around!
So say it.
Thank you for just being there.
Thank you for saying things will get better when I don’t believe they will.